Entitled in-laws ask for their grandson's Social Security Number so they can continue getting food from food bank, despite their grandson living 500 miles away: 'They want the number so they can access something else, like foodstamps or a new credit card'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Mar 12, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

It's important to keep secrets from some people, even if you think they're your closest confidants. I love my friends more than anything in the world, but I'm not going to just tell them the password to my Vanguard account or my Social Security Number. It's not that I don't trust them, but there's no reason they should know these things. It's just common sense to not give out information that, if used unwisely, can kind of ruin your life. I know that you don't think that your best friend since 1st grade would open a credit card in your name because she can't get approved for one anymore, but you literally never know. Just because you think you can trust someone with private information doesn't mean you should. Unless you are in a medical emergency that may require someone to identify your body, it's best not to blurt out your SSN. 

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  • It's one thing to make the error of telling someone your SSN unprompted. That is actually pretty stupid. This story follows grandparents who specifically ask their son for his son's social security number so they can keep getting food from the food bank. Luckily, the boy's parents saw the red flags bright and clear. 

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Update Below My husband (30m) and I (31F) recently received a phone call from my father in law(54m) Apparently for some time they have been going to food banks to help out since my mother in law (53f) won't work since getting diagnosed with COPD. They have been
    via u/One_Screen4996
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    telling the food banks that they have been taking care of their grandson (my son). The food bank has allowed giving them food but just recently asked them for my son's SSN so that they can continue getting food from them. My in laws have not been taking care of my son because we live over 500 miles away from them.
    via u/One_Screen4996
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    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    We were shocked by them asking for our sons SSN because obviously the answer is NO! My husband texted them back telling them no it's not gonna happen and they have yet to even respond. Am I the a hole for wanting to take this further and report them to this food bank for fraud and identity theft?
    via u/One_Screen4996
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    via NordWood Themes

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    • chaisingsmitty 6h ago Foodbanks don't normally ask for ssn. At least in my area. That sounds like they want the number so they can access something else, like foodstamps or a new credit card.
    via u/chaisingsmitty
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    Pleasant-Bend4307 That sounds like they want the number so they can access something else, like foodstamps or a new credit card. This↑11. First thing that popped into my brain. Freeze your son's credit. Do it now.
    via u/Pleasant-Bend4307
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    Upset-Lavishness-522 Plus OPs husband's- it's possible they may already have his
    via u/Upset-Lavishness-522
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    Tipitina62 OP should freeze her credit as well and any other children in the family. This is some shady sh.
    via u/Tipitina62
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    KimberlyBerries There's definitely something fishy going on. OP should consult a legal advisor about the best way to handle this situation.
    via u/KimberlyBerries
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    AroundTheWayJill For real, my friend turned 18 and went to buy his first vehicle. His dad had run up $60,000 in debt under his name and social. It took a decade to clear it up. Y'all might want to lock your credit too. Mom and dad already have one of your ssn - whichever of you is their kid.
    via u/AroundTheWayJill
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    Equal-Brilliant2640 My mom used to work for a utility company and this happens ALL THE TIME! They'd get their gas (or hydro etc) turned off for non-payment and then they open it up under their toddler's name. There are tens of thousands of folks out their who's parents pulled this crop on them My mom found ones where it was in the great grandparent's name. You know the one that di d 40 years ago? Kind of thing
    via u/Equal-Brilliant2640
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    MoosedaMuffin Or the want it to be able to claim him as a dependent for either taxes or SNAP/WIC benefits.
    via u/MoosedaMuffin
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    Icy-Performer571 My local food bank will pull you aside if you go frequently and ask questions like kids, etc and they have people to help you with resources. I assume a lot of food banks do something similar. If they are caring for their grandson, they are eligible for benifits and the food bank wants to help get them. They may not even have said all that, but maybe "bring in your grandsons ssn and we can help you more".
    via u/Icy-Performer571
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    sixdigitage I have a brother on the west coast. Twenty years ago, a nephew of ours stayed with my brother for a few months. Five years ago, this nephew discovered, my brother had been using our nephew's ssn and name since the time he stayed, using it for all the utilities. My nephew never figured out how his uncle got his ssn.
    via u/sixdigitage
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    One morning from the East Coast, my nephew phoned all the utilities and told them. By the time my brother woke up, his utilities were being cut off. He was upset with this nephew! So, yes, lock all of yours ssn numbers and if you can, check credit and freeze them.
    via u/sixdigitage
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    One_Screen4996 OP That's crazy!!! And for the uncle to be upset at his nephew that he got caught is even crazier!!!!
    via u/One_Screen4996
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    keith_hudson That's incredibly brazen of them. I can't believe they'd even ask, let alone try to pull something like that. Definitely report them. It's not just about your son, it's about the resources they're taking from people who actually need them. I'd try to find out which food bank it is but even if you can't, reporting them to any food bank in their area might help. They need to be held accountable
    via u/keith_hudson
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    One_Screen4996 OP My biggest challenge is finding the food bank they are using. Do I just report to all the food banks about them for just find the one they were using?
    via u/One_Screen4996
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    celticmusebooks I've never heard of food banks demanding a social security number. There is another reason they want the number. Either they are planning to file a fraudulent tax return and claim your son OR they plan to open some sort of credit using his SS number. FREEZE your credit and get PINS for you and your child from the IRS.
    via u/celticmusebooks
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    One_Screen4996 OP We are currently trying to do this. My husbands w2 for taxes was mailed to their place and after this conversation and them fight in us to even have them Mail us his w2 has me worried for his credit. They have done some messed up things in he let but this by far is the worst.
    via u/One_Screen4996
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    UPDATE We have found the food bank and they DO NOT take SSN so we have locked and checked everything to make sure our son's identity is safe and ours as well. No SSN was giving to them because we know better than to jeopardize our identity and our son's identity. We are going to
    via u/One_Screen4996
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    confront them about what we have found and see if they will give us the truth so we can see where we need to go from here. Thank you all for your advice even the negative feedback it has helped us find a conclusion to this crazy mess.
    via u/One_Screen4996

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family drama food bank identity theft kids ssn social security number fraud family grandparents food grandson social security reddit thread Reddit son parents
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